- House of Fun
The kitchen was warm and smelled of burnt toast, left over from Heather's flatmate Josh, who had earlier attempted cooking.
“So,” she said, setting down plates of pasta in front of the other three, “we found a place. Wow.”
“I know,” said Oliver, digging in before the others had even picked up their forks, “it's just a little bit huge.”
Mary shook her head at him, “Pig. Pass the cheese.”
Heather brought the conversation back to her point, “We're going to be living together. We found a perfect house, signed the contract, everything.”
Ellie nodded, “We'll need to name the place.”
Immediately, Oliver grinned.
“No.” Heather put a hand up to stop him speaking, “Whatever it is, no.”
Oliver ignored her, “Heather's House of Whores.”
Mary punched him, Ellie shrieked indignantly, Heather attempted to suppress a giggle.
“I love the alliteration.”
“I am not a whore,” declared Ellie, “you absolute git.”
Oli sniggered, “Git? Very creative, Ells.”
Heather chewed thoughtfully on her pasta, “House of Glitter.”
Ellie perked up, but Oliver scowled. Mary poured more cheddar onto her plate.
“Sheesh Mary,” said Ellie, “want some pasta with your cheese?”
“What?” She said, shrugging, “I like cheese.”
“House of Toys,” Oli volunteered.
Mary wrinkled her nose, “Excuse me? Just because we agreed to have a giant box of Lego in the sitting room doesn't mean we're filling the entire place with toys.”
Oli waggled his eyebrows, “I don't think think they'll be the only toys in the house.”
Mary put her fork down and crossed her arms over her chest, “You disgust me.”
“Right,” said Heather, “any other suggestions? Ellie?”
She shrugged, Mary picked her fork up again, “House of Love?”
Heather laughed as Mary made a face and Oli scowled, “No.”
“House of Song?”
“I don't sing,” said Heather, poking her fork in Ellie's direction, “so... no.”
They pondered more names in silence as they finished their pasta.
“House of Fun?”
Oli liked it, “Simplicity at its finest. Genius!”
Ellie didn't like it, “It implies we do no work.”
Oli cleared the plates away, “But we don't.”
“Maybe you don't, but I most certainly do.”
Mary interrupted, “I don't like it either. Sorry, H.”
Heather smiled, “That's fine. Just a suggestion.”
Ellie pulled the Ben&Jerry's out of the freezer and gave them each a spoon.
Suddenly, Oli looked up, “I've got it. HOME.”
There was silence, until Ellie broke it.
“You know, I always thought you might be useful. Except I thought it would be reaching the top shelf or carrying things, you big strong man you.”
Oli snorted, “How very sexist of you. Now where's my sandwich, woman?”
“I don't know,” replied Heather, digging into the ice-cream, “where did you leave it? Honestly,” she said to Mary, “Men!”
Heather's house of whores, LOL! Love that guy. Funny and punchy, like it!
ReplyDeleteI like that you describe toast as "cooking", and I like "attempted cooking", reminds me of Sideshow Bob and "attempted chemistry". I like the randomness of "I like cheese". I also mostly like cheese... (does Cartman impression for some reason) mostly. "You absolute git" is a delicious insult, creative or otherwise.
ReplyDeleteTheir dynamic, with their various individual differences and synchronicities, is really well-crafted, especially for such a short story.
"Ells?" Forgive me, but, ugh.
I got it, but could HOME be clarified by putting H-O-M-E? Or do you like the level of clarity it has atm? I don't necessarily dislike that btw.
I have nothing overtly negative to say about this. Well done!
Now that I've read the top, I feel the urge to reinforce: better than you think it is. :D
ReplyDelete