Tuesday, 30 November 2010

30. Write Your Life

  1. Write Your Life

Or, An Open Letter To The People Who Kept Me Going.

Today, Wednesday 30th November, I finished my NaNoWriMo cycle of stories.
Thank God. Now I might be able to get my academic life / my sleeping pattern back on track. Maybe. But it's not likely.
It's been an interesting journey, and I hope you all got something out of it. I know I did, between long Skype conversations and endless MSN chats and the millions of TV episodes that kept me awake.
I now know that I can discipline myself to write – well, unless I'm in Brussels, which happened in the last couple of years as well – and do it, if not well, at least decently.
I've learnt that it's damn difficult to try and find a different style to write in every day, especially if you're hanging onto your wordcount by the skin of your teeth and are writing story seventeen on day twenty. Which ends up being about seven thousand words longer than you expected it to.
ENTER THE EMOTICON! O_o
I'm sort of strangely proud of myself. I managed it. I wrote more than 87 pages in OpenOffice, more than fifty thousand words! I wrote a story for every day of the month. Maybe next year I'll try for an actual coherent novel.
Though probably not.
Would people be interested in more short stories next year? Leave a comment!
Feedback is amazing.
I have, once again, realised how fantastic feedback is. I live for it, I crave it, I log into my blog every day to check if anyone has left a comment.
If you like a story, please do comment. I read them all.
I didn't think I would be able to actually do this whole story-a-day thing because I have dropped out of NaNo in previous years. I think it was the fact that they were individual short stories that kept me going – I'm much better at short and sweet than at long, cohesive, consistent and continuous.
But the thing that really got me through all thirty stories?
You. The person reading.
Knowing that someone was looking forward to the next story is the thing that kicked my arse on the days when I was behind with my writing. And the feedback only helped.
So thank you, to all of you. But especially you, reading this right now.
What's interesting, though, is that I did exactly what this prompt is telling me to.
I wrote my life.
If you look at each character hard enough, inside them somewhere is someone I know (Spec and Sam are clearly Simon and myself when they interact).
There are daughters and sisters, friends, interpreters and Harry Potter. That's what I know.
There are dark moments that came out of nowhere and there are funny moments that had to be thought through for a lot longer than they should have been, but that is what writing is about.
Getting everything off your chest.
The best works are the ones that involve some sort of real element in them.
And I don't mean fantasy novels are bad – look at me, I mean, really – I just mean that in every good book the author has incorporated real aspects of human life. A nervous habit. A particular sentence. A way of speaking. And I tried to include that into my stories.
I tried to make my characters human, despite the fictional aura that surrounds them.
Watch me write, I use big words that mean nothing but look pretty.
Sorry, I'm just a little tired.
NaNoWriMo is over for this year, and that makes me slightly sad, despite the happiness inherent in winning and writing (oh.my.god.fiftyK.wow!).
Some of the stories were fanfiction, most of those were planned that way, and the reason for that is that not having to invent your own characters makes writing invariably so much easier, because they're characters you know really well (even if I seem to have a tendency towards drunk Weasleys). Most of the time, that is – I don't recommend writing characters that are slightly difficult (Sherlock) in a fandom you're not used to (Sherlock, BBC) doing things that you haven't written about before (solving crimes/porn – just sayin'). I'm just glad it worked!
The prompts were a mix of words thrown together and sentences, some of those inspired by people, some of them spoken by friends and written down, some of them made up when compiling the list.
From one to thirty, I am now done.
Every prompt invoked a particular image to mind, and every image was examined before being thrown aside to reveal something else, something that, hopefully, people weren't expecting from the title.

Now I'm just rambling.
I hope you enjoyed my NaNoWriMo as much as I did. I'll post more stories over Christmas – if you're not on Facebook and want to be kept updated, leave a comment and I will make sure you're kept informed.
Have a good one!

Love,
Ale*

29. Quizzical / Disparity - Sherlock BBC

  1. Quizzical / Disparity - BBC Sherlock

John was sitting in front of his laptop, the little black bar winking at him on the blog upload page.
Sherlock was sprawled on the sofa, either bored or playing mind games with himself, which meant he was trying to link together things that seemed completely unlinked.
Every so often he would come out with some random sentence or two.
Social disparity between men and women is just plain stupid.” He said.
John assumed that his mind was making lightning quick connections between thoughts and that only the by-products of all those actually reached his ears.
It is an unfortunate consequence of the generalisation made by men who are intimidated by them.”
Yes, Sherlock.”
He had been trying to think of what to write, but since they hadn't had a case in a while, he had nothing more interesting to say than they were out of milk (as usual) and eggs.
The only person who managed to outsmart me was a woman. Not for long, mind you, but she did.”
John looked up from his laptop with interest, “Someone outsmarted you?”
Sherlock turned over on the sofa and gave him one of his looks before turning back to face the ceiling, “I was twelve, John.”
Ah. Alright then,” he paused, almost able to feel the words wanting to spill out of his fingertips, but nothing happened, “Do you want some tea?”
Sherlock tilted his head to the right, “We have a spot of mould on the ceiling.”
It's been there for the past month, Sherlock. Tea?”
Hmm. Yes, I'd love some tea, actually.”
Excellent,” said John, “then you should go and buy some milk.”
Sherlock frowned at the ceiling, “But I take my tea black.”
Yes,” John's laptop had frozen. Perfect, “but I take mine with milk. Go on, do something nice for once. I'm sure we'll find some way to make it worth your while.”
How?”
We'll figure something out.”
John gently hit the side of the screen, but nothing happened.
Try rebooting,” suggested Sherlock, getting off the sofa.
Where are you going?”
Another one of those disappointed looks, “To get milk, of course.”
He opened the door and left.
Not a minute later he was standing in the doorway holding a two pint bottle, “OK, I'm back, with milk.”
John could hear Mrs Hudson coming up the stairs, “From the shop, Sherlock, not stolen from our landlady!”
Quite right dear,” said Mrs Hudson, taking the bottle from Sherlock's hand and disappearing back down the stairs, “I'm not your housekeeper.”
Sherlock pulled on his coat, wrapped his scarf around his neck, glared at John and headed back out.
Now all John had to do was figure out some sort of reward.
Twenty minutes later, John had decided to ignore his blog update in favour of playing Solitaire.
He was stuck when Sherlock slammed the door open and went into the kitchen, holding two (two!) shopping bags.
There is no logic to be found in those damn self-service checkout machines! None! 'Unexpected item in the bagging area' should not be unexpected because you just told me to put it there!” The rant continued as he went into the kitchen and put the shopping away, “For crying out loud! No logic whatsoever.”
John couldn't help but smile, “You bought milk?”
And bread, eggs, cheese, chicken, pasta and a tin of tomatoes. You're making dinner tonight.”
What night did he not?
Alright, but it'll have to be an early one. We're going to the theatre.”
That's the reward? A musical?”
A play, actually. A mystery-slash-comedy. I thought you might like it.”
Sherlock shut the fridge, “A play.”
Yes. Now pretend that you are something similar to grateful and go and make me a cup of tea.”
Sherlock scowled at him, but did as he was told, “The things I do to keep the peace.”
John was graced with a quizzical look as he snorted so hard he tipped his chair over.

That evening, they reached the Criterion Theatre at seven thirty-five.
Sherlock was bragging about being right, “I told you we would be early despite the lack of trains”
John glared, “Shut up. We're here.”
Sherlock looked up at the sign, “The 39 Steps, John? You couldn't have given me something more difficult to work with?”
Shut up,” he repeated, handing their printed booking to the guy at the door.
But Sherlock wouldn't, “Am I supposed to be here just to have fun or to solve the crime in the story?”
If you think you can solve the story before the cast does, be my guest.”
You're doubting me?”
John stalked off. He ignored him until they were sitting in their seats. It was mostly empty, but this was a cold Tuesday night.
You're here to enjoy the show. It's going to be funny.”
Sherlock shrugged his coat off, “I can do that.”

During the interval, Sherlock explained his theories to John, leaving out some of the bits that he thought would, “spoil the rest of the play” for him.
Arrogant idiot.
He did buy John a chocolate ice cream though, which made him smile.

John tugged the zip on his coat all the way up to protect him from the wind, “How could you possibly know that?”
Sherlock grinned at his from behind his scarf, “It was obvious.”
No it bloody well was not.”
He stuffed his hands in his pockets and let out a breath which turned visible white in the air.
Alright, no, it wasn't.”
So how could you possibly have known?”
Sherlock smirked at him as he hailed a cab.
Simple, John. I read the book.”

Monday, 29 November 2010

28. "Ron, get your drunk arse out of the fireplace." HP

What is this, I don't even?


  1. Ron, get your drunk arse out of the fireplace.” - Harry Potter

Harry, the lights are pretty.”
I know, Ron. You've said so already.”
This was going to be a very long night.
Harry had been woken up at just past midnight by Ron almost knocking his front door off the hinges.
He and Hermione had had a fight. And, Ron being Ron, he had gone out and drunk his sorrows away – except that alcohol is a depressant, as Hermione had told them and the rest of the Weasley brothers countless times (oh, and Seamus too), which meant that Ron had drunk his sorrows into expanding.
He had collapsed onto Harry's sofa and told him about what had happened, his words slurring every so often as Harry flopped onto the old armchair next to it.
He had come home late again, after pulling off a double shift for his partner, because Henry was ill, and Hermione was fed-up with his always being at work and never at home (not to mention the fact that her pregnancy hormones were all over the place and made her three times as irritable as usual), so they fought.
It was terrible, but Harry couldn't help thinking that it was a little bit like being back at school – hearing one side of the story while the other two clashed because they liked each other but were too stubborn to admit it.
He wondered what the fight was really about. He always checked, because Ron had the memory of an amnesiac goldfish sometimes – it wasn't their wedding anniversary, Hermione's birthday or Christmas, and the baby wasn't due for another two months.
Ron was currently lying on the sofa, staring at the ceiling, where the light bulb was dangling (Harry really needed to get round to buying some sort of lampshade) and swaying slightly.
Do you think Hermione will hate me forever?”
If Harry could slam his head into the wall without waking the neighbours, he would have been sorely tempted to do so. As it was, he was more tempted to smack Ron.
I don't think so. She's a lot more rational than that. On the other hand, she's pregnant, so it may take a while for her to see the logic in it.”
Hmm,” Ron mumbled, clearly not listening, “because it would be bad if she hated me. I love her, you know.”
Harry didn't really care, at this point. He was tired and he had work in the morning. He loved Ron dearly, he was his best friend and the closest thing he had to a brother, but really. He needed some damned sleep, or Shacklebolt would have his head by lunchtime.
I know. We had this conversation the night of your bachelor party, Ron. Over and over and over. You love her. I get it.”
Yeah. Cos she's amazing, you know.”
Harry shook his head and went to the loo.
When he got back to the sitting room, Ron had his eyes closed. Thank Merlin, maybe now they would both get some sleep.
He went to get a pillow and a blanket for him, but by the time he got back, Ron was trying to Fire Call Hermione.
Hey Harry, where's your Floo powder?”
With a sigh, Harry dumped the pillow and blanket onto the sofa.
Ron, get your drunk arse out of the fireplace.”
Where s'a Floo powder?”
Ron, you can't Floo Hermione.”
Why not? She's ma wife.”
There was that temptation to smack Ron again, “She also kicked you out because you fought.”
Ron looked shocked and upset, “Why did we fight? I love her!”
Harry couldn't stop himself. He smacked Ron upside the head.
Bed, Weasley. Now. I will deal with you in the morning.”

About half an hour later, Harry got woken up by Ron climbing into bed and getting in under the covers.
What the?”
Hiya, Harry.”
Harry could almost see the smile on Ron's face, despite the lack of light and his lack of glasses. No. This was absolutely ridiculous and needed to stop at once.
Ron, your bed for the night is in the living room.”
S'cold,” Ron mumbled, actually cuddling up to Harry – in quite a disturbing manner, “and you're warm.”
Go away. You're drunk and I'm sleepy.”
Your bed s'warm. Sofa's cold.”
Ron, no. What? No. Go back to the living room.”
There was a distinct whine in Ron's voice, “But the living room is cold and Hermione's angry with me and nobody loves me except you because you're like another brother except better because you'll let me share you bed and it's warm and you defeated Voldemort and stuff.”
No, Harry took his previous thought back, this was ridiculous.
He tried to push Ron out of his bed, but the man was larger than he was, and heavier than he looked.
Gerroff,” he said, pushing Harry's hands away, “m'not in the mood. Wanna sleep.”
It took Harry a good ten seconds to get over the shock of that.
Ron! This is Harry! You're in my bed.”
Goonigh', Harry.”
Harry huffed and turned his back to Ron. He would get his revenge. In the morning.

The next morning, Harry woke up feeling shit, but once he had got out of bed and thought about it a bit, he decided he was happy in the knowledge that Ron would feel even worse.
He went to make breakfast with a smile on his face.
He wondered what would put Ron off the most.
There was a groan from the bedroom as the red haired hung over beast rose from the depths.
Excellent.
He bounded into the bedroom like an excited five year old.
Good morning!” Harry said, in tone of voice a few pitches higher and much louder than his own and smiling, “What do you want for breakfast?”
Ron glared at him from under his hair.
Harry made sure Ron knew he was going to enjoy this particular hangover.

Sunday, 28 November 2010

NOT A STORY

Hi everyone!
This is just a quick thank you from me to everyone (but especially Matt) who reads and comments.
Love you all.
I just wanted to say something:


I won NaNoWriMo! :D
And it's all (partly) thanks to you, because knowing that you were reading (Becky, Giorgia, Chloe, Lilly, lots of love to Ed) and commenting (Matt) despite the fact that some of it was fanfiction (and you're not too sure what the hell a fandom is).

Lots of love to all of you,

Moretta. NaNoWriMo Winner.

27. "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." George Santayana

  1. "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." George Santayana

She refreshed the page for what had to be the sixtieth time in the past forty minutes.
You know,” said Anthony, her older and yet so very foolish brother, watching her from behind what used to be her copy of The Sunday Times, “Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
Fuck. Off.” She replied, “I will get these tickets if I have to stay here all night.”
The phone rang.
Anthony pounced onto it. It was probably his imaginary girlfriend – ie his best mate calling up to see if he wanted to hang out and play video games. He was never going to fool her into thinking he had a girlfriend. She knew better. He was much too boring and juvenile to have a girlfriend.
Refresh. 404.
Refresh. Nothing. Maybe she should write an e-mail to the organisers, try to get her tickets that way.
Emily, her best friend, was on the generic instant message chat service just blaspheming as she refreshed the page over at her house.
Refresh. Still nothing.
Yes, twenty minutes. Right.”
Oh goody, he would be leaving.
The generic chat noise. Emily had sent a particularly long and creative insult on the questionable background of the people who manned the servers of the website.
Refresh. Well, shit. This was getting ridiculous.
Where are you off to then? Over to your girlfriend's house?”
No,” he said, putting the phone down, “that was Rick.”
Refresh. Wow, ok, the first page.
Enter your details – done. Click submit...
She quickly told Emily she had managed to get to page one.
Loading, still loading, come on, come on, and 404! What? No! Bollocks!
Urgh, Rick, the slimy friend that hit on her whenever he came round.
Refresh. Still nothing. Come on, website! Work, work, work!
He's not coming here, is he?”
Yeah. He managed to get tickets to InterCon.”
Refre- wait a minute.
He got tickets to what?”
InterCon. You know, the International Convention, where all the famous people and artists and gamers go every summer, in Florida?”
She looked up from the computer screen and glared at him.
With all the people and fans of your favourite series, where they do panels, and question and answer interviews, and signings.”
Refresh, refresh, refresh.
I swear, if you are making this up I am going to murder you, slowly, with a rusty fork and make it look like suicide. I hate you. I really, really hate you.”
You're always so lovely, dear sister,” he replied, sitting back down on the sofa and opening the Sunday Times to a random page whilst trying to look suave, “I may have to tell him that he will need to find other people to come with us.”
What?”
Refresh.
He got four tickets. Two for us, and two for you.”
The chat noise. Emily sent her a long-winded message about “the epic and continued failure of this website” and a virtual sigh. She was unsure that they would ever get these tickets.
You are just trying to deceive me,” she said, in her presentation voice, “and I shall not be deceived.”
Anthony put the newspaper down.
You really don't think I would do something like that for you, do you?”
Refresh. Please? If it worked she would do all her chores for the rest of the year without complaining. No. Well then, fuck you.
Anthony, over the past nineteen years you have done nothing nice for me unless you wanted something in return. Never. Not once.”
That's not true,” he said coming over to the computer, “I bought you that DVD you wanted.”
Refresh.
For my birthday. After being picked on by Mum and Dad.”
How did you know about that?”
Refresh, please load.
Page one again, excellent, “It doesn't matter. But it certainly proves my point.”
He sat down heavily onto the chair next to hers.
Ok, bad example. What about that teddy bear, when you were six?”
Please work, she had written all her details, please work, she would love them forever if it work.
Which you gave to me because you were a boy and thought a pink bear was unsuitable to your masculine needs?”
Refresh.
Anthony was quiet.
She could almost hear the cogs creaking as they attempted to move after years of disuse.
Alright. So I can't think of anything, but that doesn't make me a bad brother. I babysat you without complaining for years.”
For money.”
Refresh.
Stop refreshing. Those who can't remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
She stopped and looked over to him.
He was frowning at her. Maybe he felt sorry for not being a better older brother.
You're telling me that whatever happens, if I keep checking the page where they sell the tickets, I'm still not going to get any tickets?”
Umm. No?”
The doorbell rang.
Emily sent her a message telling her how desperate she was getting. She didn't think this was going to work. And what were they going to do if they didn't get the tickets? Would they still take the trip?
Rick walked in with Anthony behind him, holding something behind his back.
Refresh. Please? No. Of course not.
So,” said the friend, who was looking less slimy than usual – maybe he had stopped wearing hair gel, “I hear you need tickets to InterCon?”
That would be correct,” she said and pointed to the screen, “which is why I'm on the website.”
Rick took the seat that Anthony had recently vacated.
I got a call, last week, from your brother. He told me you were planning on going to Florida for it, but you still needed tickets. As someone who has gone to InterCon for the past five years, I know how difficult that can be.”
She didn't know where this was going, but she didn't like it.
But having gone to InterCon for the past five years, I've made some friends in high places,” she snorted at that, “and I have arranged for four tickets to be delivered to me.”
Anthony held out the piece of paper he had been hiding.
It was the confirmation e-mail from InterCon, telling therickman22 at whatamail dot com that he was receiving four VIP tickets.
Are you serious? This isn't a joke?”
Yeah. Happy birthday, little sister.”
He never saw the punch coming.
You bastard, you've been letting me refresh that damned page for an hour now! What is wrong with you? Emily is currently worrying about the entire trip and you could have told me whenever the e-mail got sent!”
Sheesh!” He managed to get out between punches, “I get you tickets to InterCon and I still can't anything right. What's an elder sibling to do?”
Rick left, not wanting to be a part of this madness.

26. "One word: glitter!" - The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

  1. "One word: glitter!" -  The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

It was while they were on the way back to Sydney, with Adam driving Priscilla and singing along to another Kylie song while Benji bounced in time to the music, that Tick realised how much the two looked like each other.
They had the same dark hair and Benji's jaw was sure to become something like Adam's.
They also had the same juvenile sense of humour – Benj would laugh at every joke Adam made, even if he didn't understand half of what wasn't said and Adam actually thought Benji was hilarious.
“Are you sure he's your son?” He'd asked once, laughing at a joke about rabbits and nails, “Because he's funnier than both you and your wife!”
Yes, he was sure Benji was his son. That was his profile his son had. And his eyes. Not to mention the fact that Marion may be many different things, but first and foremost she was honest.
They got along really well, which was something Tick supposed he should be thankful for, otherwise this trip back would be even longer than the trip to get to Alice.
The tape ended and Benji turned to him.
“Tick, can we listen to Downtown again?”
Tick pretended to fiddle with the feathers on a dress that he had just sewn on, “Ask your uncle Felicia, she's the one driving.”
Benji had become more talkative as he relaxed around Tick. He and Adam had hit it off right away, which (he wasn't proud to admit) had made him feel slightly jealous, but Benji still hugged Tick goodnight first and clearly saw him as the figure of authority. Him! A figure of authority, when he couldn't even get the drunkards at the bar to behave!
“Adam, can you put on Downtown again please?”
“Of course, my little darling, anything for you.”
The trip had been uneventful so far, apart from the couple of pranks Adam and Benji had cooked up which meant that he now checked his bed before he went to sleep.
It was odd, but you could always tell the difference between Adam and Felicia.
Adam was a nice, if slightly effeminate, young man (who tended to shrink behind Felicia's overwhelming personality) with a somewhat odd sense of humour who sorted out practical things – like finding transport to take them to Alice and putting together costumes and dance routines. Felicia was the ridiculously flashy drag queen (who decided that 'lavender' was the right colour to paint a bus) with a wit that could poison you and a sense of protection so fierce that she would verbally slit the throat of anyone threatening a drag queen – unless she was on drugs.
Tick frowned. He still hadn't forgiven her for that, but he had thrown the little bag of white powder away and had a discussion with her about doing drugs around Benji. She had agreed, which was new.
Felicia hummed along to the song as Benji sang the chorus bits.
“...forget all your cares, downtown!”
He hoped he would find things for Benj to do once they were back in Sydney. The parts where he lived and where the club was weren't exactly the safest areas of the city, but he'd never been harassed when not in drag, so maybe they would be alright.
They might have to go flat-hunting, in case there was one in a better area, maybe near a school, if Marion wanted Benji to stay with him more often.
Tick couldn't see Felicia's face, but he could hear the grin in her voice as she gave Benji advice.
“Let me tell you something, Benjamin, because I wish I'd known this when I was your age. The road of excess is the road of faboulesness!”
Yes, sometimes Felicia could be glaringly, flouncily, flamboyantly gay.
“Only the road of excess study and excess sequins!” He said, in a warning tone.
“Of course!” She replied, “Because drugs are bad. And no getting drunk, Benjamin, because it makes you do things you'll regret. This one time, when I was drunk, I agreed to-”
“dye someone's hair bright blue,” interrupted Tick, “because the other person was drunk too.”
Luckily, ever so often Adam made Felicia take the hint, “And I got blue dye everywhere. I could still find it in the crook of my arm about two weeks later.”
An Abba song came on, and Felicia started on the wailing that she called singing.
Benji sang along to the bits he knew, dancing around – clearly something Adam had taught him, if the twirls were anything to go by.
Tick sang along too, pointing to Benji whenever the word 'you' cropped up, which made him giggle.
Benji laughed and made his way over to his father.
Oh, Frida, Agnetha, Kylie and Cher – his father. He would never get tired of saying that, not even if people started tormenting Mitzi for having a minor.
He could hear Miss Behaviour now, with all her bad jokes and barely-hidden glee at the discovery, not to mention the other dogs from the club as they laughed.“Oh Mitz, doll, how did it happen? You have a wife? Wow, now I understand. Did it happen on the wedding night? I'm guessing she was the butch one of the relationship. No wonder your track record is so abysmal.”
They could all go to hell as far as he cared, because he had this little miracle, which was something they would never have, even if they had kids.
Benji took out a fire-truck toy and started running it up and down the bus, making siren noises.
Tick pretended to panic and threw the dress to one side, “What's the emergency?”
“The casino's on fire!”
“No!” Shouted Felicia, “Someone save the showgirls on stage! They're still in the middle of their wonderful act!”
“The people are safe,” said Benji, seriously, “they've been evacued.”
“Evacuated?” Offered Tick.
He nodded, “Yes. But we still have to put the fire out.”
It was a clever little toy, when Benji pushed a button, water would spurt out a hole in the front. Benji put out the fire of red and orange sequins and saved the masks from being burnt.
After that, he went back to rifling through his bag for a different toy.
“Dad?”
Tick suddenly couldn't breathe. It was the first time Benji had called him that.
“Yes?”
“Why don't you have a boyfriend?”
The bus went quiet. Felicia even turned the music down to add to the effect, the drama queen.
“I don't have a boyfriend at the moment.”
“Will you have one soon?”
Benji sounded genuinely confused, so unlike all of the people who had previously asked him that question.
“I don't know, Benj. It depends who wants me.”
Benjamin frowned and looked up from his toys, “Why wouldn't they want you?”
“Because I'm older than a lot of them. A little bit funny looking. And I'm show business – a lot of men don't like that.”
“You're not as old as Bernadette and she has Bob,” Benji pointed out, “and you're nice – that's more important than looks.”
There were those morals Marion had been talking about. Maybe this parenting thing was easier when the kids were as amazing as Benji.
Felicia spoke up, “Yeah,and if people don't like your face, tell them to shut theirs, they'll never be as good a performer as Mitzi the Magnificent.”
That was a compliment. A real, sincere compliment with no backstabby undertones.
He didn't know what to say to either of those things.
“Especially if it's a lesbian,” she continued, “because she's just jealous you can pull off heels and a dress!”
And there was the Felicia they all knew and, presumably, loved.
“Thank you.”
“You're very welcome, my darling.”
They stopped in a little town to get some petrol and some snacks – they hadn't opened the first aid 'kit' since getting to Alice and Tick had thought of getting rid of it, but it felt like he would betray Felicia and Bernadette if he did – and when they all went in to pay, the girl at the till stared at Adam with a dreamy look in her eyes.
“Anything else?”
“No, no I think that's everything.”
Benji smiled at Tick as though he knew what was going on, but he was too young to understand.
“Are you sure? Can't I get you anything else? Like my number?”
Adam blinked rapidly, looked at Benji, at Tick, down at his brightly coloured shirt and back up to the cashier.
“Listen lady, let's get one thing straight – I'm not.”
Benji giggled.
Tick paid for their things.
They were just leaving as the cashier sighed, “Pity. You look like you'd know your way with a whip.”
Tick laughed and laughed. Benji ran back to Priscilla.
Felicia was back, “What's the matter with you, then?”
“A whip! Like in Venus.”
Felicia giggled too, “I'd forgotten! I wonder if the boys miss me.”
“Probably not,” said Tick, handing him a chocolate bar and climbing into the bus, “after all, Sydney is full of drag queens with a big mouth and a suitcase full of broken make-up.”
Benji piped up from behind a pile of stockings, “Why are drag queens called queens?”
“Because princesses don't get enough respect.” Said Tick, chucking the plastic bag with the rest of the shopping at him and sitting in the driver's seat.
“Yeah,” agreed Felicia as the bus started to move, “'Drag queen' says to the world that you're so strong and tough that you can pull of showgirl feathers. What's not to love?”
Benji sat next to a feather boa, flicking at it with his fingers, staring around the bus at the various gowns and headdresses.
“And why do you love the clothes so much?”
Felicia pulled out a gown from one of the available suitcases and showed it off to Benji with a twirl.
“One word: glitter!”

Saturday, 27 November 2010

25. "Much like real dragons, he was very temperamental. But Charlie was used to the heat."

HP again. But awesome.



  1. Much like real dragons, he was very temperamental. But Charlie was used to the heat. - Harry Potter

When Charlie first met Draco Malfoy, he was so shitfaced he wouldn't have recognised his own wand. Luckily, this happened in a Muggle club and he had left his wand at home.
He has the vague fuzzy memory of bumping into a very blond man on the dance floor. A thin, pointy, blond guy wearing something black – a shirt, or a jacket. Maybe.
To be fair, that could have been anyone, because he was so wankered he could probably have mistaken his own mother for a blond man.
But don't tell her that. She would kill him slowly, with a wooden spoon.
Anyway, the point is, for some reason, the first time he officially meets Malfoy, when Harry pushes the bloke towards him during a post-War party at Hogwarts (“Charlie, this is Draco Malfoy, Malfoy, this Charlie Weasley, I'm going to get some punch, if you need me I'll be with Ginny,”), that is the image that comes to mind.
Funny how your brain works sometimes, eh?
He's been back from Romania for months now, hasn't gone back to it since before the War, and while he does miss his dragons and the people, he's been having an amazing time celebrating at night and rebuilding during the day, making life better.
Malfoy stares at the ground for a while, before Charlie grabs two glasses of champagne off a tray an Elf is levitating – managing to look cool and suave for once instead of smashing the entire tray to the ground, excellent – and hands one to Draco. He decides on Draco, not Malfoy, because he's never been good with calling people by their surnames, it sounds stuffy and old and a little student-teacher like, and he'd rather be mates than cold acquaintances any day.
Draco takes the champagne automatically before frowning at the glass in his hand.
Why am I here?”
To get sloshed?” Supplies Charlie, in a way that can only be an offer of help.
Draco glances up at him, “No.”
Charlie shrugs and sips his champagne, “Fair enough, just a suggestion.”
Draco swirls his glass so that the liquid looks like a whirlpool and he stares into it as though he could lose himself in it.
It's an expression that makes Charlie feel slightly uncomfortable.
What's wrong, mate?”
Mate?” exclaims Draco, snapping, “I am not your mate. I am the reason your brother has those scars and is now a werewolf. I am the reason that Fred is,” he struggled with his sentence, “that's he's gone, and I am the reason that half the people in this room are grieving over dead relatives.”
He downed his champagne.
Charlie grinned as he took another sip of champagne. He was going to make Draco his project.
This was clearly a man in need of a stiffer drink.
It wasn't your fault.”
Draco stares at him, his thoughts plain on his face, 'You sir, are mental', the same sort of stare that real dragons give when you approach them for the first time.
No, no, listen to what I'm saying – it's Voldemort's fault.”
Draco narrows his eyes at him, like a mother dragon watching him inch towards her eggs.
Yeah, you had a part in it, but was it really your choice?”
He glances down quickly, then back up at Charlie, almost daring him to continue, “No. He had my family.”
And I can understand that. You did what you had to do. If you hadn't done it, someone else would have and maybe there would have been more deaths.”
I doubt it.”
But it's possible. Here,” he grabs an Elf who is levitating an empty tray back to the kitchens, “can we get two scotches? If you have a bottle, just bring the whole thing up.”
Draco is polite but disbelieving, “Excuse me?”
You and I, mate,” says Charlie, clapping a hand on his back, “are going to get ourselves so pissed that we can't remember how we got here.”
Draco frowns again and starts to protest, but Charlie interrupts him.
So pissed, that when we wake up tomorrow morning on the lawn outside, our first thought will not be 'shit this is bright', but 'who the fuck moved the sun indoors'?”
Draco snorts and tries to hide a smile, and Charlie knows he's won.
The Elf reappears with two tulip-shaped glasses and a bottle of scotch.
Thank you!”
The Elf gives a huge smile which looks rather odd and thanks Charlie for thanking him. Or her.
Draco takes one of the glasses without being prompted and points them towards a table at the edge of the room. The project is working well – the dragon trusts him enough to get close.
Alright. How are we going to do this?”
Charlie barely resists the temptation to make a dirty joke, something about bodies and come and clothes, or no clothes.
What? A dirty mind is a dirty mind.
You want to play a drinking game?”
Draco sinks into a chair, gesturing Charlie towards the one of the other side of the table.
No. Drinking games are for people with something to lose.”
Charlie frowns at that, but sits down.
The war is over.”
For you. You were on the good side, you're a hero. I was on the bad side and I will forever be a villain.”
Charlie opens the bottle and pours them a couple of fingers each.
The people who count know why you did what you did.”
Draco looks into tulip-shaped glass and shrugs, stroking his fingers up the side of it.
That won't stop the rest of the world from hating me.”
Charlie won't let him drink to that, “That's just depressing, Draco.”
He shrugs again and lifts his glass, but Charlie puts a hand on his arm.
No. This is a celebration.”
We're going to get pissed.”
That's not the point. We're going to get pissed whilst remembering the good times.”
Draco shakes Charlie's hand off, “We didn't share any good times.”
But we did have good times. You played Quidditch, right?”
I did.”
So, what position did you play?”
Draco isn't quite convinced by this, Charlie can tell, but slowly relaxes as he feels there's nothing to fear.
Seeker. You were Gryffindor Quidditch captain for a while, same position.”
Charlie blinks, “I was. How did you know?”
Detention,” he shrugs, taking a sip of scotch, “those damned plaques had to be polished without magic. They say you were good enough to play for England.”
Maybe this project was not going his way. He had to find some sort of vantage point.
Oh, I don't know about that. I was good, but I hear you and Harry were amazing to watch.”
Draco shrugs again, as though it was the only way to start an answer, “He flies like he was born to do so. I fly like I was trained to.”
Technique is important.”
But not as important as skill.”
You're starting to depress me, Draco.”
If Draco could have spit fire, he would have, “I'm sorry I can't live up to your expectations of buoyancy and joy while being sent to the castle I helped destroy, among people who I used to know and who now hate me. I'm sorry I can't be less depressing, alright, but this is not a momentous occasion for me. It's a reminder of my failures.”
Much like real dragons, he was very temperamental. But Charlie was used to the heat.
“You led the fight against the Death Eaters when the reinforcements came in, you know the horrors of what happened. Why are you even here?”
At Hogwarts?”
Why are you here, offering me drinks and talking to me as though we were friends?”
Charlie sighed. Why were drunks so prone to sadness?
Because you look like you need one. Look, I'm not going to pretend everything is peachy now, but life is getting better. How many of the people in this room insulted you when you walked in?”
Draco raised an eyebrow, “Seven.”
Right. And how many insulted you in the first week after the Battle?”
More. So what, people hate me less because they're busier.”
Charlie looks him in the eye, “I don't hate you.”
Draco looks down into his drink, “You don't know me.”
Neither do the people who insult you. You learn to ignore the stupid people after a while.”
Draco's head snaps up, “What would you know?”
Charlie has to stop himself from grinning. He knows this game, he played it every day with his dragons in Romania.
I know that ignorance has no place in life. And ignorant people are the reason there's so much hate.”
Draco pauses, before taking another sip of his drink.
You know, Weasley, you're quite clever.”
And if you want people to stop hating you, you're going to have to stop saying things like that. You're not better than anyone else, but you are as good as them.”
Draco looks confused, but nods.
Now, ready to get happy?”
The plan is to get more plastered than Svengard the Shitfaced, who was so drunk he got defeated by a Muggle in a wizard duel in a tavern in 1083.”
Charlie laughs out loud, “Excellent.”
They talk about Quidditch some more, their favourite teams and who they think will qualify for the next World Cup.
There's no way,” says Draco, pouring himself his fifth glass, “that Brazil won't qualify next year. They keep reaching the quarter finals and this year they're going to win.”
You reckon?”
Charlie is well on his way to being hammered and he's enjoying the company.
Yeah,” Draco, he notices, looses his uptight vocabulary when drunk, “and Bulgaria won't get in since Krum is on leave next year.”
They might get someone else.”
Draco shakes his head harder than he means to, because his entire body sways from side to side, “No, nope. Krum was a godsend for them – d'you remember the last time they were in a World Cup before Krum?”
1960s?” ventures Charlie, “The one in Switzerland?”
Nope,” said Draco taking a gulp, “it was in Japan, 1932. See? Without Krum, they are doomed.”
Charlie nods, and feels the alcohol at the edge of his consciousness.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.”
Charlie giggles at the odd manners of this drunk Draco.
He stands up as Draco does, without knowing why, and goes to find Harry.
Harry is snogging Ginny – ergh, he didn't need to see that – so he walks around the room instead.
Charlie!”
It's Hagrid, who is standing with the large French woman he was with that time in the forest at the Triward Tournament. Madam Maximum or something.
Hagrid! How are you?”
Hagrid pats him on the back, and though Charlie prides himself on the strength that helps him with his job, the man almost smacks him to the ground.
Doin' well, can't complain. And yeself?”
Also good. Missing my dragons, though.”
Yeah,” Hagrid sighs, “I know what yeh mean. How's Norberta?”
Last time I was there, she was doing just fine."
Hagrid gets a faraway look on his face and the woman next to him puts a hand on his arm.
He shakes his head, “Say, what were you doin' with Malfoy?”
He needed a friend,” says Charlie carefully, “I'm just being nice.”
Hagrid nods, “Right. S'a good thing. He needs someone treating him like he's a decent human bein'. Might do him some good.”
I'm good at handling dragons.” Charlie replied, grinning.
Hagrid nods at him some more, then gets distracted by Professor Sprout coming over.
Charlie smiles and says hello, but wants to get back his table.
People are slowly trickling out of the Hall, going home.
Ron and Hermione wave at him from the line to the Floo and he waves back, almost hitting the girl behind him.
Sorry!”
Draco is slowly walking back, trying to follow the stones in the floor but wobbling a bit.
Need a hand, mate?”
Draco frowns, “Walking is difficult.”
Yeah, it is.”
Together they manage to get back to the table without falling down, though Charlie almost trips on a loose stone.
One more drink, and they're back to Quidditch.
Another drink and they're talking about music.
Actually, the Muggles might be doing something right. Have you ever been to a Muggle club? They're amazing, they are.”
Almost everyone is gone, but he and Draco stay and talk and drink and laugh.
Charlie stops counting drinks when an Elf comes to bring them what he thinks is the third bottle.
He's quite sure he's going to collapse any minute now, but Draco has become quite talkative and his hair is even blonder when Charlie squints just so.
...which means, of course, that someone else is going to have to do it.”
Charlie's lost track of the conversation, trying to make Draco's hair brighter.
What are you staring at? Have I got something in my hair?”
Draco is sounding more sober than he was and isn't the point. Charlie pushes the bottle at him.
No, s'just blond.”
Yours is red. It's really bright – it reflects the light and everything.”
Ah, maybe not so sober.
It's shiny.”
Charlie squints again and the blond looks like a halo, “Can I touch it?”
If you want.”
So Charlie brings his chair round to the other side of the table and puts a hand on Draco's hair.
It's soft,” he says in a marvelled tone of voice, “your hair is soft.”
It's clean.” Says Draco, as though in answer.
Charlie strokes his hair until he puts a hand onto Charlie's head in turn and does the same.
That's nice,” whispers Charlie, trying to stretch his back without moving the hand, “s'kinda relaxing.”
S'like petting a kitten,” says Draco, “But I only had owls. Mother doesn't like cats.”
Charlie decides this is getting a bit weird and removes his hand.
Alright, I think we need some air.”
They slowly and unsteadily make their way outside, leaning on each other for support, giggling when they almost trip over someone who passed out under one of the tables, legs sticking out.
Charlie turns to Draco, “Can you imagine a drunk McGonall? McGangal. McGone...”
McGonagall,” says Draco, with a laugh that sounds like hiccups, “she might start doing the Highland Fling. Can you imagine her with her hair down and dancing?”
They don't degenerate into a fit of giggles, because they couldn't spell degenerate if they wanted to. But also because they are men – so they do the manly equivalent of that.
Outside is cool, but not cold enough for them to need jackets.
Charlie lets go of Draco, who wobbles, and runs towards the lake, onto the grass and collapses onto it.
Draco follows more slowly, but sinks down next to him, forgetting to complain that the grass is slightly damp.
Charlie is staring up at the night sky.
You can see different stars in Romania.”
Draco stretches and lies down, “No you can't. Romania is in the same hemisphere as Scotland.”
Charlie leans back onto his elbows, “They look different.”
Draco closes his eyes, “But they're not.”
Charlie stares at him for a bit, because he looks, well, pretty, which is strange.
“You look different.”
Draco snorts.
That's because it's dark and you are sloshed.”
Yeah.
Yeah.”
It is dark. Charlie closes his eyes too, just for a moment. He can see the stars and Draco's hair on the inside of his eyelids.

For some reason, there is much too much light in his room. And his eyes are complaining loudly, screaming to his brain that this isn't right and he should make it dark again.
Oh, shit,” says Charlie, turning over to bury his head in his arms as the pounding starts, “Who the fuck moved the sun indoors?”
Next to him, Draco laughs until Charlie looks up.
Draco is lying on the grass, hair sticking up at odd angles, with grass stains on his shirt and lines on his face, but he looks happier than he did last night. The project is working, the dragon trusts him enough to get close to him.
Hey,” says Draco, after his laughter subsides, “do you want to go to a Muggle club tonight? You can listen to their music that way.”